It has been 5 months since Mary joined the world and Alex absolutely adores her still. He loves that she smiles at him and holds his finger with her little hand. If she gets upset, he will rush over and try to calm her down saying “Shh Mary, I’m here. It’s me, your big brother.” He is always s wanting to play with her and hug her. He gets so excited when she smiles at him. It makes my heart melt seeing the bond between them.
However, all of the changes that have happened have not been without its problems as well. In a span of a few months, Bryan moved in, my brother moved out, Mary was born, and my grandfather passed away. That is a lot of change in a short amount of time, and he is not handling it as well as I had hoped.
We have seen regression in some of the skills we have been working on, such as tying his shoes. After one particularly frustrating day of fighting with him to get him to tie his shoes, we asked him why he won’t tie them anymore. He told us he wanted it to be like the old days, when his uncle lived with us and he went to Grandma’s every day. That was our “aha” moment and we realized just how hard he was taking these changes, despite us trying to prepare him.
Another sign was his lack of impulse control. This was already an issue due to the ADHD, but we noticed it had become particularly bad as of late. A talk with his teacher and intervention specialist at the school confirmed this for us. Even though he was still doing well academically, it was affecting him socially. We knew we had to do something to help him. After a lot of conversation between Bryan, my ex-husband, and I, and then with Alex’s teachers, we decided to do a two-part plan of action.
First, we met with his doctor and laid out our concerns. She talked with us and prescribed a low-dose medication for him. She has a good feeling this will work for him once we get the right dosage. If it doesn’t, we try another until we find the right one.
Second, we are looking into therapy or counseling for him. We are not strangers to the benefits of it and hope it has a good effect on Alex. We found out that the school has a program so we are going through the school first. There is a grief counseling program which I am glad for since Alex was very close with my grandfather that passed away in November. My other grandfather passed away after we had started the process, so we added it to his list. They were not as close, but it was still an unexpected blow.
It is going to take a lot of communication between Alex, me, Bryan, my ex-husband, Alex’s teachers, the counselor, and my mom since she is his daycare provider. I have faith in this and feel that we will find a way to help Alex adjust to all of these changes.